It feels good

It feels good to feel good. Why do we forget this? Or neglect it? Or choose to stay in an unhappy state, avoiding the things we know will help us to feel good?

There are a lot of really complicated answers for those questions. Some have to do with habit, some with depression, some with disease, fear, outside pressure. Who knows.

The truth is, though, that we can feel good if we choose to.

I forget that too often. Right now I remember.

So I am reminding you. Go do something that makes you feel good. Not because I said so, but because you deserve it. And because you really do have the power to choose.

Choose Love

Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. -Yoda

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Choose love. Choose to be the light in the dark. In this time of change, when fear is ruling the world, choose not to give in.

Change begins with you and with me. I choose to take care of me and my own. To spread love in my little corner of the world. To offer respect and support to those around me, no matter their views. I choose to take action in my life to make the world a better place for me and my loved ones, right here. I will do what I can to make the world better.

If you do the same, the ripples of our kindness and our change will spread and intersect. We will change the world, one person at a time.

Choose to keep doing what you need to do. Choose to do it with respect, kindness, and love. Choose to be the change.

Choose love.

Timelines

It’s so frustrating to make plans, and base so many thoughts and actions around those plans – only to have someone else throw in a wrench and say, “nope, we’re doing this now”. Or, like I’ve had lately, the wrenches are more like opportunities to do what I want – but I’m so not ready! There are many things I want to accomplish in the coming year, but I have created a timetable for them, a general idea of when it will be best for me to achieve these goals. So why are all the opportunities showing up now? I’m not ready. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the space or the time. Other things have to change before I can take advantage of these opportunities. Stop throwing them at me!

Waiting

never wait

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Cycles and Seasons

Have you ever stopped to think about how much we are influenced by repeated cycles and events? For example, the holiday season. No one is truly immune to it, even when we avoid it. There is a greater sense of community, of connectedness, than at any other time of the year. There is more joy, more sharing, more giving. Also more eating, drinking, and arguing. It’s incredible, and the effects of repeated cycles often continue even when the original situation has drastically changed. About two months ago, I went through a pretty serious depression. I was moody, anxious, grumpy, and just downright sad. The thing was, I couldn’t figure out why. There were no discernible reasons for my mood. Work was going well, at least as well as it ever does. My finances are in good shape, my relationships are solid. So why was I so down?

Finally, it hit me. Exactly a year before, I was unemployed, very broke, feeling very insecure and apprehensive, and my relationships were undergoing some pretty major upheaval. So this year, despite the fact that everything in my life is better, I was still depressed. I didn’t even understand what might be causing it until it was almost over. The one-year anniversary of starting my new job passed, and like a miracle my mood lifted. I felt happier and stronger again. It was very strange.

More recently, it happened again. Spring is almost universally considered to be a time of renewal, as the land wakes up again, the sun stays around longer, and animals give birth to their young. For me, it has always been a little bit the same. Like waking up after a long sleep – which honestly is weird, because I love winter and often feel most awake during the cold months. Still, spring seems like the time to begin new endeavors, to shake off the cobwebs and get moving again. Which is exactly what I have slowly been doing since the turn of the season, both mentally and physically. Moving again. Making room for new thoughts and ideas, discarding ones that no longer serve. Boxing again, which I haven’t done in months. Thinking about travel, and road trips, and visiting places I’ve always wanted to go, even right here in my hometown. Waking up.

I’m excited to welcome spring, and to start moving again in my life. Moving forward, making changes. As much as part of me hates change, I know it is the only way to truly live. So here I am, changing a little bit every day.

What cycles do you repeat? And what are you going to change today?

Taking Care of Me

Taking care of myself has rarely been enough of a priority for me. I tend to focus on the needs of others, because often they seem to be easier to address. And because I sometimes have difficulty identifying my own needs. I’ve really gotten tired of waiting for other people to do the same for me. Took a very long time to understand that it doesn’t work that way.

In any case, I have often let myself be lower on the list of priorities. Lately, I’m making some changes. Instead of focusing on what I want or need, I’ve been focusing on what makes me feel good. I like feeling that I have accomplished things, so every time I do, I write it down. Sometimes by the end of the day, I have a pretty impressive list. I’m keeping track of little moments that make me feel loved and cared for, whether they come from me or from others. I’m taking better care of my body, because it feels good to do so. I’m cutting myself some slack. Not saying that I can get away with anything, but really truly accepting that any success is still success, that any progress still counts. This all adds up to me ending my day with a really satisfied, fulfilled feeling.

This taking care of me thing is awesome. I’m so glad I found my right way to do it.

Craft Fair

Today I was a vendor at a craft fair, for the first time ever. It was a small affair, hosted in a home, with seven vendors in all. A little crowded, to be sure, but well set up. Small tables, all with white tablecloths, one with snacks and goodies to share with guests.Plenty of room to walk. It was a lighthearted, relaxed event.

Never would have known that if you’d asked me as recently as last night. I was so freaked out about whether I had forgotten anything, and if I would have enough sizes and styles of jewelry (I have plenty), and how I would arrange them, and were my prices reasonable… I went on for days, actually, stressing about it. It was exhausting, but it paid off. When I showed up this morning to set up, I knew exactly what I had, knew I had checked everything off my list in one way or another, and knew that even if I sold nothing, I get to give myself credit for showing up.

I was not outrageously successful, but I did sell several pieces of jewelry and generate some interest in custom work. Therefore, still successful. It was wonderful to see the creative works that others brought to share, and very gratifying to have my own work admired and purchased. And tomorrow, I will do it again, with even less stress. It sounds like a good plan to me.

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