It feels good

It feels good to feel good. Why do we forget this? Or neglect it? Or choose to stay in an unhappy state, avoiding the things we know will help us to feel good?

There are a lot of really complicated answers for those questions. Some have to do with habit, some with depression, some with disease, fear, outside pressure. Who knows.

The truth is, though, that we can feel good if we choose to.

I forget that too often. Right now I remember.

So I am reminding you. Go do something that makes you feel good. Not because I said so, but because you deserve it. And because you really do have the power to choose.

Empty Cup

​I stare at the dregs

Half dried
Sticky with remnants of honey
How did this happen?

Water
Aromatic herbs
Spicy
Honey for smooth comfort
A touch of sweet

Gone now
Missing
Did I drink it all?
I don’t recall

I took a few sips
Still fresh
Hot enough to burn
Waited for it to cool
And it is gone

Other have sipped
Have taken from my cup
With sweet words
and sly hands
They have gotten drunk
Behind my back
I am left with nothing

The dregs
A memory
Of the cup of tea
I made for me.

Practice Makes Perfect 

Clearly I still need to work on this whole daily post concept. It’s been a busy week, and all too easy to set this aside. So now I will stretch my brain a bit to see what I’ve been thankful for these last few days.

I am thankful for pizza.

I am thankful for flirting.

I am thankful for lazy days.

Not so hard to think of things. Especially when I don’t try to confine myself to “big, important ideas”. I can be just as thankful for pizza as I can for the miracle of a sunset, or the joy that is connection with others.

Maybe this means there are other areas where I don’t have to try so hard.

Starting Small

So it’s been ages. Maybe two or three. But here I am, thinking about my blog again. Wondering why I never do seem to be able to keep up with it. So instead of just contemplating, I am doing. (for once)

Lots of people I know are taking the time for November to post on Facebook about one thing they are thankful for each day.

NaNoWriMo and NaPloBoMo are totally a thing.

Why not combine them, and get a new habit started?

One new blog post each day, and my topic is already decided – what am I thankful for today?

That’s not so hard, is it?

So I’m starting small.

Today, I am thankful for hot showers.

This article is good, but the message is better. Keep fighting those inner demons. They aren’t here to beat you, you are here to beat them. It’s terribly hard some days, but every time you fight, you win. Sometimes only a tiny bit, but it’s worth it. It’s a beginning. Fight your fight, and know that you aren’t the only one. Don’t give up. Always keep fighting.

“I want somebody to wake up and brush their teeth and think to themselves like, “Today’s not going to be easy. Today’s going to be a fight, but I’m going to fight.”

‘Supernatural’ Star Jared Padalecki Talks Depression and Why You Should ‘Always Keep Fighting’

Link

Waiting

never wait

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Cycles and Seasons

Have you ever stopped to think about how much we are influenced by repeated cycles and events? For example, the holiday season. No one is truly immune to it, even when we avoid it. There is a greater sense of community, of connectedness, than at any other time of the year. There is more joy, more sharing, more giving. Also more eating, drinking, and arguing. It’s incredible, and the effects of repeated cycles often continue even when the original situation has drastically changed. About two months ago, I went through a pretty serious depression. I was moody, anxious, grumpy, and just downright sad. The thing was, I couldn’t figure out why. There were no discernible reasons for my mood. Work was going well, at least as well as it ever does. My finances are in good shape, my relationships are solid. So why was I so down?

Finally, it hit me. Exactly a year before, I was unemployed, very broke, feeling very insecure and apprehensive, and my relationships were undergoing some pretty major upheaval. So this year, despite the fact that everything in my life is better, I was still depressed. I didn’t even understand what might be causing it until it was almost over. The one-year anniversary of starting my new job passed, and like a miracle my mood lifted. I felt happier and stronger again. It was very strange.

More recently, it happened again. Spring is almost universally considered to be a time of renewal, as the land wakes up again, the sun stays around longer, and animals give birth to their young. For me, it has always been a little bit the same. Like waking up after a long sleep – which honestly is weird, because I love winter and often feel most awake during the cold months. Still, spring seems like the time to begin new endeavors, to shake off the cobwebs and get moving again. Which is exactly what I have slowly been doing since the turn of the season, both mentally and physically. Moving again. Making room for new thoughts and ideas, discarding ones that no longer serve. Boxing again, which I haven’t done in months. Thinking about travel, and road trips, and visiting places I’ve always wanted to go, even right here in my hometown. Waking up.

I’m excited to welcome spring, and to start moving again in my life. Moving forward, making changes. As much as part of me hates change, I know it is the only way to truly live. So here I am, changing a little bit every day.

What cycles do you repeat? And what are you going to change today?

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