Starting Small

So it’s been ages. Maybe two or three. But here I am, thinking about my blog again. Wondering why I never do seem to be able to keep up with it. So instead of just contemplating, I am doing. (for once)

Lots of people I know are taking the time for November to post on Facebook about one thing they are thankful for each day.

NaNoWriMo and NaPloBoMo are totally a thing.

Why not combine them, and get a new habit started?

One new blog post each day, and my topic is already decided – what am I thankful for today?

That’s not so hard, is it?

So I’m starting small.

Today, I am thankful for hot showers.

Thoughts

I missed a post again yesterday.

Still not a failure.

Today has gone by entirely too quickly.

Dark comes too early.

Some things just take too long to accomplish.

Lists are good. They make it easier to keep track of things.

Purple is good too.

And rain. Rain would be nice.

Or snow. I could go for snow.

Suppose I will settle for ice cream, since snow is very unlikely tonight.

I like learning things.

And those are my thoughts for the day.

Perspective

I struggle with maintaining a perspective. Whether I am too close or too far away, I tend to stay there, viewing things in the same way. I like to see different perspectives, but sometimes it really takes a push for me to do so, especially when I am stressed.

Really, I blow things way out of proportion. I’m an expert at turning molehills into mountains. Take my upcoming craft fair for example. It’s a lot of work. I’ve never done one before, and I’m stressed about the whole thing. How much product should I have on hand? Do I have a receipt book? What about change, or a cash box? How should I display it? And that’s just the start of the list. In the back of my head is this little voice telling me I’m overreacting, and that I will be just fine. The rest of my head is screaming that I only have nine more days to finish preparing.

So I started small. I created a custom order form for people who want specific pieces or alterations. Two days ago, I was freaked out about this concept, with no clue what I wanted the form to look like, or even what information I needed for it. Tonight, I sat down, opened a new document, and ten minutes later decided I was satisfied. The form is simple, elegant, informative and done. Cross that off the list. What a relief.

Two days ago, that piece alone looked like a mountain in a long chain of them. Tonight, it is less than a molehill. It’s my perspective. I stepped away, and took a moment to breathe. And when I sat down to work on it, I did it with the determination that I would finish it and be able to cross something off my ever growing list. It’s very satisfying to cross things off lists.

This perspective thing applies to lots of other stuff too. Had an appointment with my therapist today. Six months ago, I thought the idea of seeing a therapist meant there was something irretrievably broken in me. Today, I was just glad for a chance to take a walk and talk to a good listener. Judgment wasn’t even in the equation. Sometimes, we can’t see anything other than the mountain in front of us, and it can be so hard to move away from it. I have a lot of days when I just can’t do it. Today, I managed. It was hard, and I have no idea how long it will last. But it’s a blessing every time it happens.

Also, giving myself points for completing another blog post. Maybe it’s silly, but the personal challenge of seeing that I can do this daily is kinda nice. And yeah, I celebrate when I do it. Everybody needs another reason to celebrate.