It feels good

It feels good to feel good. Why do we forget this? Or neglect it? Or choose to stay in an unhappy state, avoiding the things we know will help us to feel good?

There are a lot of really complicated answers for those questions. Some have to do with habit, some with depression, some with disease, fear, outside pressure. Who knows.

The truth is, though, that we can feel good if we choose to.

I forget that too often. Right now I remember.

So I am reminding you. Go do something that makes you feel good. Not because I said so, but because you deserve it. And because you really do have the power to choose.

Practice Makes Perfect 

Clearly I still need to work on this whole daily post concept. It’s been a busy week, and all too easy to set this aside. So now I will stretch my brain a bit to see what I’ve been thankful for these last few days.

I am thankful for pizza.

I am thankful for flirting.

I am thankful for lazy days.

Not so hard to think of things. Especially when I don’t try to confine myself to “big, important ideas”. I can be just as thankful for pizza as I can for the miracle of a sunset, or the joy that is connection with others.

Maybe this means there are other areas where I don’t have to try so hard.

Timelines

It’s so frustrating to make plans, and base so many thoughts and actions around those plans – only to have someone else throw in a wrench and say, “nope, we’re doing this now”. Or, like I’ve had lately, the wrenches are more like opportunities to do what I want – but I’m so not ready! There are many things I want to accomplish in the coming year, but I have created a timetable for them, a general idea of when it will be best for me to achieve these goals. So why are all the opportunities showing up now? I’m not ready. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the space or the time. Other things have to change before I can take advantage of these opportunities. Stop throwing them at me!

Refresh

Well, did it again. Got bored, changed my theme. I like this. It suits my current frame of mind. Goodness only knows how long that will last.

On topics of new things and changes, there are many in my life. New partner at work, new classroom, new students. New semester (currently boring me immensely, really wishing it was an online class so I wouldn’t have to pretend to pay attention). Soon, new apartment and new roommate.

There are also many old things in my life. Too many things to do and not enough time to do them. Too much stuff (working on that one, but still). Snuggles from my cats (who hate that I am packing things up). Good times with family and friends.

All in all, I have little to complain about. It’s why I’ve made such a big deal out of this lingering cough and my boring class. 🙂

Waiting

never wait

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Dreams

Ever have one of those dreams that just won’t go away when you wake up? I’m dealing with that now. Been up for almost an hour and just can’t get it out of my head so I can go back to sleep. It started as a new dream, with a few points of alarming clarity and a clear message, a feeling of “oh yes, this is why I am dreaming this”. Then it became an old dream, one I have had previously, seemingly identical in every detail.
Then it changed again, and became the worst kind of nightmare. The realistic kind, where everything around you is familiar and normal, you feel like you, there are no strange monsters. Just a terrible situation to deal with. And I failed. Miserably. Even after I said I could do better and started over to try to fix it. I failed.
As I pace through my apartment, trying to force my brain to let go so I can sleep, I’m unsure whether failing is the problem, or if it is something else. I have written out the dream, which is usually enough to let my brain move on. Now my hope is that physical activity will move the blood elsewhere and leave me exhausted. Well, more exhausted, so that I can sleep. What a frustrating hour.

Welcome Back!

Hi all. I was a tad bored this morning, so I started playing around with my blog. New theme and colors, which I mostly like. Some feedback would be great, though. Any thoughts? For example, I’m not loving that apparently you have to hover over the title area in order to clearly see it and the menu. I’m planning to leave this up for a couple days, pending feedback. Thanks!

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