I’ve been stuck for a while. Stuck in a really boring rhythm. Go to work, work my butt off. Come home, practically collapse. Sit around, do nothing. “I’m resting”. Repeat. Bleh.
It hasn’t helped. It hasn’t made me feel rested, or healthy, and it certainly hasn’t helped me feel like my great new job is a step forward. If I’m too worn out and lazy to enjoy myself when I’m not working, then what’s the point?
But sometime recently, things have begun to change. I’m making more of an effort to do things with my free time. It started with just making time to clean. More than just wash the dishes and take out the trash. But really cleaning, keeping everything looking nice. And I started looking at it as a privilege to have the time to do it, rather than a chore. Chores suck. Getting things the way I want them is awesome.
There is also fitness. Working out. Not just my job, which is physically demanding, but taking the time at home to do something to keep my body healthy. I’ve discovered that boxing is great fun, so I keep doing it. And the longer I keep at it, the more I enjoy it. I have more energy, and I’m consistently in a better mood.
This weekend has been my most productive yet. Not because my whole apartment is clean. It isn’t. But because for the first time in months, I have worked on creative projects. I finished a piece of jewelry yesterday. It has been sitting in a half finished state for at least three months. Finishing it made me feel more awake than I have been in ages. Today, I worked on a blanket that has been waiting to be finished for at least four years. It’s not done yet, but it is very close. I have fabric and ideas for a new skirt. And the best part is that I want to do these things. I don’t just want them done, I want to do the work. I haven’t felt that in so long.
The tricky part is the balance between the two. I feel like I could just keep going and going with my crafts right now, but I have to go to work in the morning. So even though I know what my work week is like, and how very exhausting it is likely to be, I am making plans. Each day, I have a plan for part of a project to work on. Now if only I can stick to the plan. Keep working my butt of at work, and enjoying the work I do at home.
I’m looking forward to trying. 🙂